I love writing about equity in relationships 50 years later. While the truth is during our first few years I did not even know what that was. Fifty years ago, I thought equity meant go to work bring your check home, pay the bills, and then go to church. Then the next week do it all over again.
I mean what else could you want, I was not running around, not gambling, drinking (much), etc… I believe if I worked hard and sometimes long, long hours, paid the bills, and then came home that was all the equity I needed. I was so dumb I did not know my wife wanted things like time, attention, and love without sex (whoever hears of that), and listening without talking and answering. But the truth is, she loved me and showed grace. Many times she would tell others I’m glad I have a husband who will work and come home while many wives’ husbands either won’t work or won’t come home, so I’m blessed.
You’re not trying to build equity just to get what you want, you’re trying to build equity because you love them and want a strong and loving relationship. All relationships will have hard times, and all relationships will have hard times if you do not hear what I am saying, but when you have equity in that relationship it sure makes getting through those hard times easier on you both. Equity is also not one-sided. Both should do all they can to build equity in the relationship because none of us are nearly as good as we think we are.
Remember we most often see ourselves as we want to be while others see us as we are. As you read the chapter on how equity helps determine our destiny, ask God how you can add equity to your relationship and don’t focus on your mate giving you equity.
Love is not so much a duty, but a delight, it's not so much a feeling as a fact, it's a decision that leads to the right actions over and over until the feelings come. Love is the right decision put into action over and over again that will then lead to the right feelings. You can't feel your way into love, but you can act your way into love.
It's not a decision that makes a great decision...it's what you do after. Learn insights from 50 years of marriage. Through this book. I hope your marriage and relationships go from ordinary to extraordinary.
Pastor James Greer