Most couples do not have a talking problem, they have a listening problem. Let’s unpack the 4 steps of Hi Def listening.
Step #1: “Release”
Release what you think you know. Release your assumptions. Release the stress of the day. Release your need to be right.
Step #2: “Receive”
Receiving means you open your heart. You feel the words. Remember, “You listen with your ears, but you hear with your heart.” If your heart isn’t open, you won’t hear a thing.
Step #3: “Repeat”
This is where you use your own words to repeat back what your partner said to you. It helps the other person feel heard. It shows that you have been paying attention. So “repeat” back to them what you think you heard. Think about this like a listening echo.
Step #4: “Respond”
This is where you get to talk and respond to what you heard. But make sure that the other person is actually finished talking before responding. You may want to ask them if there is anything else.