How I wish I had known, believed, and applied this principle 50 years ago. In all honesty I believed give back what you’re getting and then some. I believed win at all costs. If Debbie raised her voice I could do it louder; if she was a little ugly (not saying she was), I could and would be uglier. It is shameful that so many even Christian couples won’t apply this law, principle, and this truth. I often use the letters H.B.O. — Peace, Power, and Provision. Hear the Word, Believe the Word, Obey the Word; it is obeying the Word that activates the power of God. How could I, even after we got back in church, hear the word and say I believed the word and still not obey so much of the word?
Luke 6:38 (NKJV) “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”
This is one of my life verses. But, what does that mean, “It’s one of my life verses”? It should mean it is a verse that I believe, live by, and has helped change my life. This verse has done that, but when my wife and I were younger, I did not apply that verse like I should have, and we could have reaped much more. I can still remember when this verse changed my heart and life. I can remember who was preaching it; Dr. Gene Pritchard at Faith Baptist Church many, many years ago. He challenged us to apply it to any and every area of our life. At this time, I was a tipper not a tither. He said just test God and see if He will not show forth His truth. It was through tithing, giving, and believing that Jesus became bigger than he had ever been. I learned that this verse applies to any and every area of our life. What we get in life is what we give or what we need in life is what we need to sow in life.
The key or secret to learning to make sowing and reaping work for you in your marriage is to learn to sow what you want to reap, not sow what you are reaping.
This will not only change your marriage, it will change your life! Most of us sow what we reap and have been blinded to the truth of what we as Christians are to sow what we want to reap, while most sow what they are reaping and miss the power of God upon their life to sow what they reap. By nature, we want to sow what we are reaping, but supernaturally, we want to learn to sow what we would like so God can and will supernaturally work in our marriage and life. This is not simply some flashy, flattering, fancy preacher saying this it is God’s law and needs to be lived out.
Galatians 6:7 (NKJV) “Do not be deceived; God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.”
The Christian life is really all about sowing and reaping. If you have a need in your marriage, the best way to get it is to sow what you need, where you can reap what you need. The problem is most marriages want to reap what we have not sown! It does not work that way. We want our wives and husbands to treat us special, talk to us a certain way, look at us a certain way, and listen with intent and interest, but that’s not what we are sowing.
Galatians 6:8-10 (NKJV) “For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have the opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.”
We have to keep sowing the right seed, keep waiting for the right time, and we will receive the right harvest!
Sow the seed + Wait = Harvest
This applies to every area of your life. Please tell me what you need most, and I can tell you what you need to be sowing most; you need friends and be friendly.
Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV) “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
If you want friends, you need to be sowing friendliness but also remember you always have a friend named Jesus who will always stick closer than a brother.
Luke 6:38 (NKJV) “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”
This is one of my life verses! You can’t out-give God in any area of your life; what’s coming into our life tells us what we are giving or sowing. If you keep sowing, pulling the weeds, watering, and waiting, you will reap what you sow.
The problem is most Americans are spoiled and selfish. They live for instant gratification and give up before the reward comes. Be careful not to sow judgment, condemnation, and unforgiveness. Luke 6:37 (NKJV) “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Stop judging them and start encouraging them. Matthew 7:4 (NKJV) “Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look a plank is in your own eye?”
Stop condemning and start connecting and accepting. Stop not forgiving and start forgiving.
Matthew 6:14-15 (NKJV) “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
We often find ourselves judging our mates and others with a different standard than we do. When we do the same thing, we self-justify why we do it. We acted like that because of what happened to me that day. I’m late because of the traffic; they don’t know what I had to do to get here today. When they do the same thing, we judge them by their actions; we judge ourselves by our intent.
Love is not so much a duty, but a delight, it's not so much a feeling as a fact, it's a decision that leads to the right actions over and over until the feelings come. Love is the right decision put into action over and over again that will then lead to the right feelings. You can't feel your way into love, but you can act your way into love.
It's not a decision that makes a great decision...it's what you do after. Learn insights from 50 years of marriage. Through this book. I hope your marriage and relationships go from ordinary to extraordinary.
Pastor James Greer