We all know people we love but don’t really enjoy being around. We all need to learn how to communicate better.
Marriage = Relationship Communication
When I say marriage here, it applies to all relationships. I believe most couples love each other – even those having lots and lots of problems. They love each other, but the problem is they cannot communicate it to each other. Love does not produce joy. Only when love is communicated correctly and received correctly by both people can it produce joy. If joy isn’t produced, they don’t talk the same language…
FREE INSIGHT: Most marriage & relationship problems are communication problems.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (NKJV) “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,-(But I cannot communicate love by the words I speak) I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, (preach and teach) and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, (great intellectual abilities )and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, -(But I cannot communicate love) I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, -(But I can’t communicate love or I love you) it profits me nothing.”
The problem is you can be in love and not have JOY – because the truth is when love is communicated and received, it produces LOVE & JOY.
1 Corinthians 14:7-11 (NIV) “Even in the case of lifeless things that make sounds, such as the flute or harp, how will anyone know what tune is being played unless there is a distinction in the notes?”
When someone plays an instrument, it does not mean you can understand what they are playing. It does not mean you enjoy the sound. It is only when certain tunes are played that you can understand it and enjoy it.
1 Corinthians 14:8, NIV “Again, if the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle?”
Some trumpets sound for battle, some for retreat, some call to worship, ect.. If you do not understand what each sound means to you, what was meant to help, it can really hurt. Many times, what one mate says they mean something to help but it hurts instead.
1 Corinthians 14:9, NIV “So it is with you. Unless you speak intelligible words with your tongue, how will anyone know what you are saying? You will just be speaking into the air.”
If you cannot communicate your love in words your mate cannot understand. It is like speaking to the air. Have you ever felt like you were trying to talk to your mate about something and it was like speaking to the air?
1 Corinthians 14:10, NIV “Undoubtedly there are all sorts of languages in the world, yet none of them is without meaning. If then I do not grasp the meaning of what someone is saying, I am a foreigner to the speaker, and he is a foreigner to me.”
If you were talking to someone who did not speak English, saying “I want you to know I love you”, but they looked at you like they did not understand, you would then speak louder.
They still do not understand you, so you get all upset and say and do things because that person did not respond to your telling them you loved them. This happens to couples all the time. I know that Paul was talking about speaking in tongues- If we can’t understand what the person is saying, what good is it? Only when love is communicated does it produce joy! It’s not so much that we know that you love me, etc. … as it is what can I communicate. Love does not produce joy, love communicated produces joy.
Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Lack of love, joy, and peace is a spiritual problem. The problem is communicating that love. Example: We have always known God loved us, but we never really enjoyed and understood that love until God communicated it through the death of His Son Jesus Christ. Once God communicated His love through the death of His Son, you understood it. Then it is just a matter if you want to accept it and enjoy it.