#1 – Learn How to communicate better.
We will talk more about that later.
#2 – Learn When to communicate.
When I say when, we are always talking, but we are not always communicating. I was out to eat at a very nice restaurant with my wife and without knowing it I kept looking at my phone and she said, “Are you on a date with me or your phone?” I said, “Sorry you’re right. Let’s both stay off our phones and talk.” It was the right time to communicate.
Some couples who are very busy need to plan times when they will talk about the most important issues and let it all out at that time, but not every day. This is a time just to be honest about how you feel, and the other person just has to listen. You might think something is true, but it is to the other person. This is the you “get to let it all out” and that person has to listen. You then have to set a time you both are going to let it go and move on. Sometimes it’s not the right time. When I am studying in the morning, unless it’s an emergency, is not the right time. If my wife is busy cooking and dealing with other issues, it might not be the right time to communicate unless I want to help cook.
#3. Learn the WHY of communication.
“Why” is what you are trying to communicate that is important to you. Many times, we never stop long enough to communicate the “why”. We simply get upset because someone doesn’t understand us or doesn’t support us but, without telling, explaining, or communicating the why, the other person might not understand that it is important to you or why you are upset.
#4. Learn the Where of communication.
Some things need to only be communicated in private. Example: How we are going to discipline the children, etc. Some things need to the communicated only in the bedroom, and I’m not going to explain that. Some things might need to be communicated in front of the family where everyone has some input. Some things do not need to be communicated in front of parents, but some things do. Some things do not need to be communicated in front of other couples or other people. I think you get the idea about where to communicate.
#5. Learn Who to communicate to.
Some things should only be communicated with your mate if you’re married. Some things should only be communicated with your most trusted and closest friend. Warning: friends of change, so be very careful what you share and with whom you communicate. Some things should only be communicated between you can God.
Psalm 27:10 (TLB) “For if my father and mother should abandon me, you would welcome and comfort me.”
Sometimes you need a professional to communicate with. Warning: Be very careful who, where, and when you communicate personal and private things. I hope this helps you with the How, When, Why, Where, and Who of communication. But better yet, I hope you will apply it and try it.