The problem with knowing God’s purpose for marriage is most Christians and non-Christians do not know God’s primary purpose for marriage. As you read this chapter, you will learn at least six primary purposes for marriage. Before you read the chapter, why don’t you list what you think God’s purpose for marriage is? Better yet, list what upsets you most about your marriage in the past. When I got married 50 years ago, I did not know God’s purpose and did not even think about it. I was more concerned about my purpose for marriage, and I did not realize that it was not the same as God’s.
When our purpose does not align with God’s, it is always the wrong purpose and plan. Our purpose and plan, apart from God’s purpose and plan, will ALWAYS lead to problems! We often think the problem is our mates when the real problem is the purpose and plan.
If we learn to change our purpose and plan to match God’s purpose and plan, we will change most of the PROBLEMS.
I am so excited about you learning God’s purpose and plan for your marriage. As you intentionally apply that purpose and plan, watch how many of your problems leave and how you experience God’s power and presence in a new way.
P.S. This is not a one-and-done. You will have to go back over this the rest of your married life and remind yourself because, by nature, we want our way more than God’s way. Our way is most often the selfish and wrong way.
God bless, and I’m so excited for you.
The further away we get from the original intent or purpose of something, the harder it is to remember the purpose. Something’s bound to break when we use something repeatedly in a way in which it was not originally intended. If couples don’t know God’s purpose for marriage, they can easily do the wrong things and not be doing them on purpose. Even though the things they are doing are not on purpose, because it’s not the original purpose, it’s bound to break!
Note: Lust is using someone as an instrument for your satisfaction. Many couples get married thinking the other person’s job is to satisfy them.
The true purpose of a relationship is not simply to satisfy you but to help sharpen you! Two become one! Two become one when we sow into each other’s life so each becomes better. The purpose is to make your mate happy and holy. Holiness often hurts because it includes telling the truth. Obedience bruises, and yet, somehow, it builds. All you have to do to destroy a relationship is start looking through the lens of lust instead of love. You focus on what you can get and want instead of what you can add. Too often, couples turn people into instruments to satisfy instead of partners who sharpen and add value to the other person. When we do that, we are breaking the original intent of marriage, and the marriage begins to break.
God has to be the ultimate authority, not one of the partners. When God is not the ultimate authority, you hear crazy statements like, “I fell out of love.” That’s like saying, “I just fell out of the car”; you only fell out when someone opened that door. Godly marriage is commitment over convenience, commitment over chemistry, facts over feeling, and love over lust.