#1 Words.
Ecclesiastes 9:17 (NKJV) “Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard rather than the shout of a ruler of fools.”
Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV) “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 15:23 (KJV) “A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!”
Proverbs 15:23 (NKJV) “A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!”
#2 – Quality time.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NKJV)“To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.”
#3 – Gifts-creativity.
Not because you are simply trying to make up for what you have done wrong. Proverbs 19:6 (NLT) “Many seek favors from a ruler; everyone is the friend of a person who gives gifts!”
#4 – Acts of service. (Gas up the car, etc.)
#5 – Physical touch.
#6 – Respect.
When you got married – you made a covenant with your mate… But most do not understand what the covenant is or what it is means. The purpose of the covenant is to cancel out the other’s weakness for strength.
Example: One man is a farmer; another is a fighter. They make a covenant. The fighter – warrior, did not know how to farm, but did like to eat well. The farmer did not know how to fight well so they made a covenant to protect and help each other. They would even change their names or put them together, just like a woman, once she gets married she takes her husband’s name.
It is not for you to focus on the other’s weakness as a problem in the marriage, but for you learn to protect and help each other. Your mate’s weakness is your strength, and your weakness is your mate’s strength. The two help make one. The reason we got married is that we both have a need that we want to have met.
You need to get your expectations out in the open. Some are Biblical expectations; some are personal expectations. We can negotiate the personal but not the Biblical.