The first crucial secret of a successful marriage is what happens after marriage. It’s great if you can afford a beautiful wedding and honeymoon, but rest assured, that’s not what will make a successful marriage. When I say successful marriage after 50 years, my wife is still my best friend, lover, and there is no one I would rather be with. If I had it all over again, I would still choose Debbie as my wife and best friend.
Getting married does not remove all your problems, hurts, stress, and things you might be running from. But what it does do, if you both work on it and work hard, is to give you someone to share life with: someone to go through those hard times, hurts, stress, and a great time of disappointments where the two become one resulting in each carrying only half the burden.
Debbie and I got married in East Texas. Debbie rode with me that day as I worked. We then went to the justice of the peace, and yes, I even had to give blood back then, and I almost passed out. He finally got started, and Debbie began laughing — to this day, I’m still not sure why, but I did not think it was that funny. We then went out to eat and stayed at a hotel overnight. (That was fun, but we will not talk about that.) Then I went back to work. We had no wedding ceremony, church, or honeymoon… it was only the justice of the peace, a few laughs, eating out, and returning to work.
The critical point is if you want to have a successful marriage, remember that it is what you do after the wedding. Another secret: this truth applies to all life, your job, finances, raising children, buying a house, or car. It is a secret principle that applies to almost every area of your life. The sooner you learn it, the sooner you can work on the right area and problems.
Song of Songs 5:16 (NKJV) “His (Her) mouth is most sweet; yes, he (she) is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend.”
Debbie is truly my best friend! If you are not married, don not marry someone who is not your best friend because most others apart from Jesus will come and go. Second, if you have others who are your best friends above your mate and you want to spend all your time with them, then don’t get married. Too many people get married only to then spend all their time with someone else they call their best friend. God’s created order is always God, your mate, children, work, etc.
Proverbs 5:18-19 (NKJV) “Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times, And always be enraptured with her love.”
Proverbs 5:18-19 (NLT2) “Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.”
I can tell you that I have rejoiced with the wife during my youth, and I’m still rejoicing. Yes, a significant part of the loving and rejoicing is being best friends, but because she’s my wife, she can and does meet needs no one else can or ever has since we have been married these 50+ years. My wife has satisfied my every sexual need for 50+ years, and that’s lots of needs and years! I still enjoy and am satisfied with her breasts. Yes, part of marriage is sex, and that’s okay, but it can’t be the only part. Sex is the icing on the cake! My wife has been and still is very attractive to me.
P.S. Special note: my wife and all of her body satisfies me but they are not for everyone else to see. I think women should dress nicely; in fact, men are attracted by sight. That’s why you should ask your husband what he likes you to wear, but other men don’t need to look at intimate body parts. So don’t wear clothes so low other men can see or be attracted to your body. A woman’s body is special and just for their husband. Lol. That’s how I feel anyway.
As I said, if you want a successful marriage, remember what you do after the wedding that will cause you to be successful. Next, I want you to know that having a great marriage takes lots of hard work, battles, hurts, and sorrows, but it’s not only worth it; there’s nothing more rewarding and satisfying. Nothing brings joy like a mate to love and share your life with—nothing except a special fellowship and relationship with Christ.