One of my greatest problems with communicating is not talking, it’s listening… this list is the R’s of communicating through listening!
#1 – First step of listening is to Release. Release what you think you know. Release your assumptions. Release the stress of the day. Release your need to be right. (I really have a problem with the need to be right)
#2 – The second step of listening is to Receive. Receiving means you open your heart. You feel the words. Remember, you listen with your ears but you hear with your heart. If your heart isn’t open, you won’t hear a thing.
Proverbs 4:23 (KJV) “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
Most problems are really heart problems. What is the real issue? It’s not money, your job, your mate, or your children. It’s the heart!
#3 – The third step of listening is Repeat. This is where you use your own words to repeat back what your partner, friend, boss, etc. said to you. It helps the other person feel heard. It shows you’ve been paying attention. So, repeat it back to them what you think you heard.
#4 – The fourth step to listening is to Respond. This is where you get to talk and respond to what you heard. But make sure that the other person is actually done talking before responding. You may want to ask them if there’s anything else.
#5 – The fifth step of listening is to Repent. This is where you simply apologize if you misunderstood what the other person said or thought. You don’t do this just to do it, you do
it because you really feel it after you stopped long enough to listen. Acts 3:19 (NKJV) “Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.”
Sometimes the best thing about learning to listen the right way is the repenting and refreshing that comes at the end. Many times, it brings a refreshing new relationship with the other person and God.