We are imagining that our home is a family fortress. Along the walls of this fortress, we are building towers of conviction to protect our children. They represent the basic beliefs we, as parents, are seeking to adopt for nurturing our children. With them, we are getting ourselves in position for helping our children.
OUR CONVICTIONS ARE:
#1 We are breaking through denial and admitting that our child is, in fact, ignoring our guidance on purpose.
#2 Our child does wrong because of his or her choices, not because of mental illness or physical problems. (Don’t neglect to confirm this conviction with a thorough physical from a doctor.)
#3 Our child can change, and it’s our responsibility as parents to give him or her a decent opportunity to improve.
#4 We have the right and are responsible before God to require our child to live as an American citizen in our home – to live as a decent, legal, cooperative, and productive life.
#5 We must raise our child consistent with how he or she will have to become to be successful in the real world.
These catchy concepts will help us erect the tower:
– If you are rude to the suppliers, you shouldn’t expect new supplies. – If you don’t do your part in our family, you don’t get family privileges.- Mess it up, clean it up.
– Abuse it. Lose it. – Waste it. Replace it. Want more? Pay the extra.
#6 We refuse to be conned by our child.
#7 We will cause our child’s tools of intimidation and manipulation to become useless.
#8 We will be sure the discipline we choose to use is a natural consequence of the offense.
#9 We are responders, and our child is the teacher. We will respond fairly to what our child teaches us.
#10 We will allow our child to experience the pain of his or her wrong choices.
#11 We will see the wrong crowd as family enemy #1.
#12 We will strive for cooperation, not “happiness”.
#13 We will not give up on our child.
#14 We will help our child have opportunities for spiritual conversion (a change of mindset).
#15 We will continue to or begin to set good examples of self-control before our children.