Secrets to a Successful Marriage
Songs of Songs 5:16, NKJV; Proverbs 5:18-19, NKJV
To have a Great Marriage you will have to know what real Biblical Love is. There is a difference between love and lust. Please see handout (Genuine Love). Lust is using someone as an instrument for your own satisfaction.
Three words for Love; Each have a different meaning.
Eros Love – a need love; based upon physical attraction and fulfillment; marriages cannot be sustained by eros love alone. (Proverbs 5:15-19, NKJV)
Phileo Love – a friendship love; sharing of time, activities, the home, hobbies, and other objects of common fellowship. (Romans 12:9-13)
Agape Love – a giving love; one loves even when the other doesn’t respond as expected; self-giving in meeting real needs of the other with the purpose of helping the person to become a better, more mature individual. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NLT)
Agape Love + Phileo Love + Eros Love = Godly marriage that will last.
Exceptional marriages takes doing some exceptional things.
You must have an exceptional relationship with Christ if you want the relationship God wants you to have with each other. (Psalm 127:1, NKJV) Exceptional is doing life together with Jesus being at the center of you both. (Matthew 6:33, NKJV) Whatever you prioritize will have progress.
You have to have exceptional self-acceptance.
You have to know and believe ‘Who you are in Christ.’ Learn to get your acceptance, security, and significance from Christ or you will try to get it from others. Learn to fix your hopes and dreams on God and seek to please Him through this relationship.
You have to become exceptionally unselfish. (1 John 4:7-8, NKJV)
Selfishness is at the heart of most problems between people. Due to lack of self-awareness we often miss how selfish we really are. (James 4:1-3, NLT2) Selfishness robs our joy with God and others. The way to overcome selfishness is the love of Christ in you. Christ’ love leads us to wanting the best for the other person.
You have to be exceptionally forgiving. (Romans 12:17-19, NKJV)
Forgiveness is not weakness; it is a way to power.
It takes exceptional financial principles. It takes two totally committed to financial principles to have an exceptional marriage. Don’t spend more than you make. Make a budget together. Tithe 10%, save 10%, spend 80%. Financial principles lead to financial freedom. (Matthew 6:21, NKJV)
It takes exceptional moral freedom. (1 Corinthians 6:18, NKJV; Hebrews 13:4, NCV)
Don’t be flirting with the opposite sex.
It takes exceptional purpose in life. (Matthew 6:33-34, NKJV) Jesus is our only true source of meeting all our needs; everyone else is simply a conduit used by God.
It takes exceptional harmony with authorities. If you’re not in harmony with your authorities, you will have problems being in harmony with the Ultimate Authority, Jesus Christ and His Word. (Romans 13:1-5, NKJV; NIV
It takes exceptional faithfulness. (Not giving up) (Galatians 6:9-10, NKJV)
