The Best Leaders Have High EQ

by | Leadership Lifters

Leadership is influence. Everything rises and falls on leadership (everything).

People with a high EQ outperform someone with a high IQ 70% of the time. That’s why it’s’ so important we do all we can to raise our EQ.

  • What can we do to increase our performance—which would increase productivity, which will increase our perspective on life and then produces peace and power with God? Increase our EQ.

 What is Emotional Intelligence?

  • Your ability to recognize and understand emotions, and your skill at using this awareness to manage yourself and your relationships with others.
  • > Self-awareness is very, very deceptive – because we often judge others by what we perceive they should be or should do but we judge ourselves many times by making excuses why we don’t do what we should. 
  • > How we see ourselves and others greatly depends on how we see ourselves.
  • 1-10 with ten being the highest what would you rate your EQ?
  • How have you managed your emotions and emotional relationships in the past week?
  • Insight: For me sometimes I managed my emotions good and sometimes bad.
  • I’m trying to self-exam and find out what triggered those bad emotions. 
  • This is very, very, hard to do… You have to be very intentional and ask yourself hard questions that sometimes hurt.
  • The part of the brain above your left eye is where your EQ comes from.
  • You have an emotional reaction to events you rationally think about them. 
  • We live in a world that doesn’t always know what is good for us.
  • Our school systems, our homes, our churches are not teaching us how to lead, how to value emotions.
  • Why are we not learning about how to better handle our emotions?—Because if we continue to make decisions based on emotions we will continue to have confusion. (1 Corinthians 14:33-35, NKJV)

1 Corinthians 14:33-35 (NKJV) “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church.”

  • Why would God’s Word say for the women to be silent?
  • He created women with more emotions! Thank God!
  • But we are to make more of our decisions based on facts—God’s Word—not emotions.
  • In the beginning, Eve made an emotional decision to get the fruit and Adam made an emotional decision to follow, but he knew he should not do itAdam knew the facts!
  • Only 36% of people can accurately identify their emotions when they happen.
  • That means 64% to 75% of the people are making decisions based on emotions, not facts or God’s Word. I believe it’s more like 80% today!
  • I just read where it is now 80% of people are making decisions based on emotions.

     

    • The question is not how ¾ of the worlds making decisions, but how are you are deciding—by God’s Word, your spouse, your feelings, your culture, your environment.
    • EQ is a flexible skill—it can improve—it requires a lot of practice. We never reach the point of not growing in this area.

     4 Emotional Skills to improve our EQ:

      1. Self-Awareness—Leaning into discomfort—learn what you can improve.
      2. Self-Management—Using awareness of your emotions to choose what you say and do to positively direct your behavior.
      3. Social Management—Knowing what the other person is trying to communicate to your—you focus more on the other person than yourself.
      4. Relationship Management—Use the 1st 3 skills together –Adjust Behavior to impact other people to develop relationships.

    Insights to remember:

    • How much emotional pressure can that person handle?
    • How do they respond?
    • How productive are they?

    *Key the higher the EQ the more productive they are!

    • Successful people learn differently than the rest of the world. They are result-oriented — while the rest of the world focuses on learning about the problem….successful people focus on getting answers and results.
    • Knowledge X Action= Result
    • Successful people are result-focused
    • The most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do what have to do when it ought to be done whether you like it or not! (That’s a success).

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