The Best Leaders Have High EQ

by | Leadership Lifters

Leadership is influence. Everything rises and falls on leadership (everything).

People with a high EQ outperform someone with a high IQ 70% of the time. That’s why it’s’ so important we do all we can to raise our EQ.

  • What can we do to increase our performance—which would increase productivity, which will increase our perspective on life and then produces peace and power with God? Increase our EQ.

 What is Emotional Intelligence?

  • Your ability to recognize and understand emotions, and your skill at using this awareness to manage yourself and your relationships with others.
  • > Self-awareness is very, very deceptive – because we often judge others by what we perceive they should be or should do but we judge ourselves many times by making excuses why we don’t do what we should. 
  • > How we see ourselves and others greatly depends on how we see ourselves.
  • 1-10 with ten being the highest what would you rate your EQ?
  • How have you managed your emotions and emotional relationships in the past week?
  • Insight: For me sometimes I managed my emotions good and sometimes bad.
  • I’m trying to self-exam and find out what triggered those bad emotions. 
  • This is very, very, hard to do… You have to be very intentional and ask yourself hard questions that sometimes hurt.
  • The part of the brain above your left eye is where your EQ comes from.
  • You have an emotional reaction to events you rationally think about them. 
  • We live in a world that doesn’t always know what is good for us.
  • Our school systems, our homes, our churches are not teaching us how to lead, how to value emotions.
  • Why are we not learning about how to better handle our emotions?—Because if we continue to make decisions based on emotions we will continue to have confusion. (1 Corinthians 14:33-35, NKJV)

1 Corinthians 14:33-35 (NKJV) “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church.”

  • Why would God’s Word say for the women to be silent?
  • He created women with more emotions! Thank God!
  • But we are to make more of our decisions based on facts—God’s Word—not emotions.
  • In the beginning, Eve made an emotional decision to get the fruit and Adam made an emotional decision to follow, but he knew he should not do itAdam knew the facts!
  • Only 36% of people can accurately identify their emotions when they happen.
  • That means 64% to 75% of the people are making decisions based on emotions, not facts or God’s Word. I believe it’s more like 80% today!
  • I just read where it is now 80% of people are making decisions based on emotions.

     

    • The question is not how ¾ of the worlds making decisions, but how are you are deciding—by God’s Word, your spouse, your feelings, your culture, your environment.
    • EQ is a flexible skill—it can improve—it requires a lot of practice. We never reach the point of not growing in this area.

     4 Emotional Skills to improve our EQ:

      1. Self-Awareness—Leaning into discomfort—learn what you can improve.
      2. Self-Management—Using awareness of your emotions to choose what you say and do to positively direct your behavior.
      3. Social Management—Knowing what the other person is trying to communicate to your—you focus more on the other person than yourself.
      4. Relationship Management—Use the 1st 3 skills together –Adjust Behavior to impact other people to develop relationships.

    Insights to remember:

    • How much emotional pressure can that person handle?
    • How do they respond?
    • How productive are they?

    *Key the higher the EQ the more productive they are!

    • Successful people learn differently than the rest of the world. They are result-oriented — while the rest of the world focuses on learning about the problem….successful people focus on getting answers and results.
    • Knowledge X Action= Result
    • Successful people are result-focused
    • The most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do what have to do when it ought to be done whether you like it or not! (That’s a success).

    View more Leadership Lifters Blog Posts

    Parental Impressions

    Parental Impressions

    Be careful when answering your children. Children’s first impression of God will be their parents, apart from transformation. God’s Word spoken to them with the wrong attitude will breed rebellion, not rewards. (Ephesians 6:4, TLB; James 1:26, ESV) Questions for you:...

    Jesus Will Never Leave Us

    Jesus Will Never Leave Us

    Jesus understands how we feel in any situation. (Matthew 27:45-46, NLT) Jesus might not deliver us from the problem and pain, but He will never leave us or abandon us. (Hebrews 4:15-16, NKJV; Lamentations 3:22-23, NKJV) He will remove the pain or the problem. Give us...

    Stop Toxic People

    Stop Toxic People

    Step 1: Unfollow negativity Social media us the #1 source of negativity and negative contagious emotions. Unfollow any accounts that bring negativity, spur bad feelings or don’t inspire you. (1 Corinthians 15:33, CEV) Step 2: Cancel plans. Open your calendar and look...

    Love Louder and be Wiser

    Love Louder and be Wiser

    Love louder. (1 Corinthians 13:13, NKJV; 1 Corinthians 13:1-2, CEV) It doesn’t matter how good you teach, preach, sing, or how much faith you have, if you don’t have love, it’s worthless. Love louder, more than anyone else in the room. Be wiser. (Ephesians 5:17, NKJV;...

    How the Unknown Becomes Known

    How the Unknown Becomes Known

    God speaks to us. (Luke 1:26-35, NKJV) How to Know God’s Will: God’s Word. God’s Principles. God’s authorities. God’s sovereignty. How to make a Godly Decision: Will this choice bring glory to God? Is this a decision Jesus would make? Will I be proud of this decision...

    The Story of Jonah

    The Story of Jonah

      God is the hero, not Jonah. (Jonah 3:5-6, NKJV; Jonah 3:9-10, NKJV, NLT2; 2 Chronicles 7:14, NKJV) It’s God who does the miracles, not us. What God wills and wants, it will happen. What God really wanted was not to punish and destroy, but to love and forgive. (Jonah...

    The Shepherd and the Shadow

    The Shepherd and the Shadow

    The Lord was with Joseph from the pit to the palace. (Genesis 39:2, NKJV) The Lord was with Joseph in his job, but he still had problems. The Lord was with Joseph in prison and showed him favor. (Genesis 39:21-23, NKJV) The Lord was not only with Joseph, but He also...

    Overcoming Anxiety

    Overcoming Anxiety

    Pray that God will give patience in the process. (Psalm 40:1-2, GW, NLT2) You can know what the process is, even if you don’t fully understand it. (Jeremiah 29:11, NKJV, NLT2, CEV) Because you know the purpose of the process, it helps you have patience. Be still and...

    Thank God

    Thank God

    The goodness of God is beyond description. (Psalm 106:1-5, TLB; Psalm 106:5, TLB) Thank Him for loving us continuously and forever. Thank Him for His mercies that are new every morning. Thank Him for sending His Son to die for our sins. Thank Him for giving us the...

    Favor with a Purpose

    Favor with a Purpose

    Your purpose is what you live out, not what you just talk about. Even though we have purpose and favor, it does not mean we will not have problems. Jesus had a purpose with favor. (Luke 2:52, NKJV; Hebrews 12:2, NKJV) When our pain has purpose, it makes it easier to...

    Favor is for Life

    Favor is for Life

    God’s favor is still with us even in the bad times. (Psalm 30:5, NKJV, ESV) Make sure you activate the favor of God. The Holy Spirit never leaves us, but there are things we can do that grieve the Holy Spirit: (Ephesians 4:25-32, NKJV) Bitterness. Rage. Anger. Harsh...

    The Favor of a Wife

    The Favor of a Wife

    A true wife brings strength and joy. (Proverbs 18:22, NKJV, AMP; Proverbs 14:1, NCV) A wise woman applies God’s Word and principles to the marriage which strengthens it. A true and wise woman knows that marriage will need repairs and will help do her part to keep it...

    Leaders Grow from the Inside Out

    Leaders Grow from the Inside Out

      Grow from the inside out, be bigger on the inside than the outside. (Psalm 119:11, NKJV) Allow God’s Word to transform you. (Romans 12:2, NKJV; Luke 6:45, NKJV; Matthew 23:25, NKJV) Qualities of leaders who grow from the inside out. They value people more than...

    Favor Beyond What You Can Fathom

    Favor Beyond What You Can Fathom

    Abraham’s response to God’s representatives help us understand why he finally received the favor he had been waiting on. (Genesis 18:1-15, NCV) When God comes into your presence, do you want to beg Him to stay? Do you see yourself as God’s servant rather than God...

    God’s Continuous Favor

    God’s Continuous Favor

    Continue to ask God for His favor. (Psalm 90:16-17, NRSV) Can we grow in God’s favor? Yes How do we grow in God’s favor? Salvation and Wisdom. (Proverbs 8:35, NKJV, AMP) Wisdom is knowing the mind of God in a matter and then knowing how to apply it on a day-to-day...

    Achieving Leadership Goals

    Achieving Leadership Goals

    Stop being goal-oriented and be more growth-oriented. Getting promoted past your personal growth is a land mine waiting to happen. Happiness is a by-product of oneness. Trying to be special because of achievement won’t bring happiness, it brings separation, fear, and...

    Leaders That Are Followed

    Leaders That Are Followed

    Consistency is most important at home. First with your mate: Trust is built by the right actions and reactions repeated over a long period of time. (Luke 16:10, NCV) Second with your children: If you tell them you’re going to do something, do it! (Ephesians 6:4, TEV)...

    Know Yourself to Grow Yourself

    Know Yourself to Grow Yourself

    It’s not desire that causes us to win, grow, or be successful. It’s the design. You have to have both desire and design. Desire starts the fire, but design takes you to the finish line. Desire is about passion, but design is about the pattern. Areas to grow in:...

    The Longer You Lead

    The Longer You Lead

    Every leader needs and wants loyalty. You can’t get loyalty and longevity mixed up with productivity. Business does not equal productivity. You can’t get trust mixed up with truth. You want to trust them or you really don’t need them. You can’t allow the truth about...

    Sovereignty of God

    Sovereignty of God

    God is large and in charge. (Isaiah 46:9-11, NIV; Psalm 115:3, NIV; Daniel 4:35, NIV) He is large enough and in charge enough to take care of whatever we are facing. (Colossians 1:17, NKJV, CEV) God’s permissive will still gives us freedom of choice. (Romans 12:2,...

    Peace in any Circumstance

    Peace in any Circumstance

    You have to have an impossible situation or problem. (Mark 4:36-41, NKJV, CEV) If we can solve it on our own it would not be a miracle and we wouldn’t have peace. We need God’s peace when the problem is beyond our control. Impossible situations are nothing more than...

    Ways to Guard Your Heart

    Ways to Guard Your Heart

    Guard your heart with the words we speak. (Proverbs 4:23-27, Proverbs 18:21) My mouth portrays what’s inside of me. (Matthew 15:18, NIV) SOMEONE WITH                                                  IS REVEALING A                    Harsh Tongue                       ...

    Truths About Temptations

    Truths About Temptations

    Satan tried to command Jesus what to do. (Matthew 4:1-11, NKJV) The truth is Satan can only try to control you and deceive you. Satan can confuse you but he can’t command or control you unless you allow him. If we focused as much on spiritual food as we do physical...

    Heart Checkup

    Heart Checkup

    ____ Are you reading the Word of God intentionally on a regular basis that reflect in your schedule? It’s all about the heart and what God wants for us. (Proverbs 4:23, NKJV; Joshua 1:8, NKJV) God’s Word leads us to salvation. (1 Peter 1:23, NKJV) God’s Word guides...

    Relationship Secrets

    Relationship Secrets

    There’s nothing stressless about long term relationships; you only learn how to better deal with it which will greatly reduce stress. (Ephesians 4:25-32, NCV; John 8:32, NKJV; Proverbs 15:1, NKJV; Proverbs 18:21, NKJV; James 3:10, NKJV) Learn to forgive quickly and...

    Stress and Money

    Stress and Money

    Why did Jesus speak so much about money? (Matthew 6:24, NIV; Matthew 6:21, NKJV; Proverbs 4:23, NKJV, TLB) Money problems really start with heart problems. Guard the conversations: What you allow in your heart. What you allow in your mind. What you allow done with...

    Contentment

    Contentment

    4 Main Causes of Stressors: Lack of contentment. Love of money. Not managing money by God’s design. You’re in the middle of something beyond your control. Lack of contentment. (Colossians 3:17, ESV, Colossians 3:18-25, ESV) If you’re not content with what you have...

    Prescription for Peace

    Prescription for Peace

    How is your peace in God? (Philippians 4:6-7, NKJV) Everything, everything, rises and falls on your fellowship with Christ. The better and stronger the fellowship, the better and stronger you can handle the stressors that come into your life. Do you have God’s peace...

    Why Worry?

    Why Worry?

    God does not want you stressed. (Matthew 6:25, NKJV; Philippians 4:6, NKJV) You need to learn to remove worry. When you continue to worry, we are stepping outside the boundaries of God. When you continue to live in stress, worry, and anxiety it not only displeases God...

    What Are Our Marching Orders?

    What Are Our Marching Orders?

    What marching orders has God given us? Do everything we can to see as many people as possible to come to know Jesus. Help as many people as possible learn to live the free and abundant life. What promise does God give us in this matter? (Matthew 28:18-20, NKJV) Jesus...

    What Do You Need to Encircle?

    What Do You Need to Encircle?

    What keeps you up at night? (Joshua 6:12-13, NKJV) If it’s to further God’s Kingdom, the answer, provision, and power is available, we just have to hear from God and obey. The purpose of the test is to teach us to trust. (James 1:2-5, NCV) The purpose of trust is to...

    Running Circles Around the Enemy

    Running Circles Around the Enemy

    Important insights: It’s one thing to get a word from God, it’s another to carry it out in action. The Israelites walked around Jericho, they didn’t run, strain or struggle. Many times, we struggle, strain, and run when we should be walking with Jesus first. Fruit...

    Build a Monument

    Build a Monument

    God wants you to teach your children 2 main things: (Joshua 4:20-24, NKJV) God’s Word. (Proverbs 22:6, NKJV; Deuteronomy 11:19-20, NKJV) Discipline. (Proverbs 23:13-14, GW; Proverbs 22:15, NIV) Your monument will be the lives that have been changed. (3 John 1:4, NKJV)...

    What if You Fall into the River?

    What if You Fall into the River?

    God is faithful even when we are not faithful. (Psalm 18:16, NIV; Proverbs 24:16, NIV) God wants to focus on our faithfulness, not our failures. (Luke 15:11-14, 17-32, NKJV) God is faithful when we are caught doing things we should not be doing. (John 8:3-11, NKJV) He...

    What if the River Doesn’t Part?

    What if the River Doesn’t Part?

    We will pass through the waters. (Isaiah 43:1-2, NKJV) You don’t have to fear, but you do need to fight. Passing through the water is seasonal. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NKJV) When we pass through the waters, we all remember that most of the time it’s seasonal. What we don’t...

    5 Signs of an Insecure Leader

    5 Signs of an Insecure Leader

    Imposter Behavior. You pose as someone or something that you perceive as better than the real you. While the real you is imperfect, it is the best you. Work in progress but you can’t make progress if you don’t give yourself permission to be the real you. Defensive...

    Sanctification and Saints

    Sanctification and Saints

    There are 2 Sanctifications: Positional sanctification – happens at salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ. Progressive sanctification – happens as we become more and more like Jesus as the Holy Spirit prompts us. Being saved and serving by the prompting of the...

    How Does God Build Us?

    How Does God Build Us?

    Be teachable; Your goals are reachable if you are teachable. (Psalm 37:23-25, NKJV; Psalm 32:8-9, NKJV; Proverbs 21:29-31, NCV; Proverbs 28:14, NCV; Proverbs 29:1, NCV) North (nearness or staying close). (Psalm 73:23-24, NIV) Everything rises and falls on your...

    The Truth About Kindness

    The Truth About Kindness

    The scarlet cord is a visual example of the blood of Jesus. (Joshua 2:17-21, NKJV) Just as we have never sinned, we have been acquitted. (Romans 5:9, NKJV; Ephesians 1:7, NKJV) When we are saved, the blood cleanses our conscience. But we have to learn to continue to...

    The Gift of Kindness Part 2

    The Gift of Kindness Part 2

    True kindness is both words and actions. Jesus’ words were kind, encouraging, and challenging. Just because we challenge someone’s faith and action does not mean we are not kind. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is challenge someone’s faith that causes them to...

    The Gift of Kindness Part 1

    The Gift of Kindness Part 1

    Kindness. (Ephesians 4:32, NKJV) Kindness means being more concerned with WHO a person is becoming than WHAT they’re doing. Kindness is expressed by listening. How do you know who to listen to and who not to listen to? You have to consider the source. You have to ask...

    The Art of Waiting Part 2

    The Art of Waiting Part 2

    The art of waiting is based on your lifestyle. (James 5:16, NKJV, Proverbs 15:29, NKJV) The art of waiting is based on action. (Joshua 1:8, NKJV) Read the Word. Meditate on the Word. Spread the Word. Accept the Word to bring success. The art of waiting is based on...

    The Art of Waiting Part 1

    The Art of Waiting Part 1

    The art of waiting prayerfully. (Joshua 1:11, NKJV; Isaiah 40:29-31, NKJV; Psalm 46:10-11, NKJV, CEV, 1 John 5:14-15, NKJV) If we know it’s His will we can pray expectantly, consistently, and accordingly to His word. The art of waiting is based on the relationship...

    Discouragement – Part 2

    Discouragement – Part 2

    Questions: Are you being disciplined, pruned or scourged? Do you have fruit? If you have no fruit, you are being disciplined. If you have some fruit God wants you to have more fruit. Fruit leads to pruning which should lead to more fruit if you respond to pruning...

    Discouragement – Part 1

    Discouragement – Part 1

    Causes of discouragement: Looking at yourself. Looking at your own goals. Looking at your hopes and dreams. Looking at your drive and desires. Discipline is about sin while pruning is about self. When Christians don’t understand the difference, they can get...

    Leadership Lifters

    Everything rises and falls on leadership. If you can grow your leadership it will help grow your home, job and every area of your life.