Four emotions that should be aware of:
- Guilt (I owe you.)
- Anger (You owe me.)
- Greed (I owe me.)
- Jealousy (Life owes me.)
Don’t let these emotions fester. When you feel them, take immediate action to address the internal tension.
- Guilt says, “I owe you because I took something from you.” It creates distance and leads to keeping secrets.
- Anger says, “You owe me because you took something from me. You either pay me back or I will pay you back. If you were hurt as a kid or in that last job or in that last relationship, you carry that hurt into adulthood or the next job or the next relationship.
- Greed says, “I owe me.” When you like stuff more than you like people, it’s a problem. It should bother you.
- Jealousy says, “Life owes me. Somebody else got what I deserved.” And now you don’t like that person. It’s almost impossible to be nice to them. You resent what they have because you believe it should be yours.
Address These Emotions Immediately:
- When you feel guilt, confess it. Confess it to God and to that person. That kind of confession has the power to heal guilt.
- When you feel anger, forgive. Forgiveness is identifying what was taken from you and deciding the other person doesn’t owe you anymore. Identify what that person took from you. Be specific. Then decide to cancel the debt.
- When you feel greed, give. Write some big checks (whatever “big” means to you). Give to a church. If you want to get serious, sell something precious to you and give the money away. Give as radically as you need to in order to break money’s control over you.
- When you feel jealousy, celebrate. Begin by celebrating what God has given you, and then celebrate what God has given others. Congratulate your coworker on that promotion you wanted. Be happy for the nicer, bigger house your friend just bought. Celebrate your sister’s pregnancy even as you struggle with infertility. A student that won a award!
There’s a fake-it-until-you-make-it aspect to that kind of celebration. And eventually, your celebration will become genuine.
Celebration will lead to the Cure!
